Patrick Ness: Hello, my name is Patrick Ness, which is a surprisingly difficult name to get right over the phone. I constantly get 'Neff,' or 'Mess,' or 'Nests'. I mean, I don't know anybody who'd ever be called 'Nests,' but there you go. So I usually say that it's 'Ness' like the loch, as in, 'Loch Ness Monster.' And then I wait to see if anyone can ever come up with a clever or funny joke about my name and the Loch Ness Monster, and in my entire life, that hasn't happened yet.